Stress

We finally got the spare bedroom cleaned up. It was a nightmare how BIL left it. All his stuff is now packed in boxes and moved out of the way. I went through 4 of the 5 boxes of stuff I had in there and got it all into one clear tub. The other box was put out of the way as it has all my old Barbies and accesories. The floor is swept and no cig butts left to be seen. I didn't clean under the bunk bed though, but it is staying, so not too worried. Now a couple friends of ours (and their baby) have had their electricity cut off until they can pay the full amount they owe. They are asking if they can come stay with us. We are trying to get this house and the bedroom ready for Annastasia's arrival and money is extremely tight. We just can't have 3 more people living here right now. I feel really bad to the point I am crying, that we can't help them out. It has been such a hot summer and they have no AC now. I wish we could have them stay, but if they can't pay their bills, how could they help us if they stayed here? We would be having to provide food for double the amount of people, when right now we can't even afford to buy a loaf of bread. The do have food stamps and wic, but even if they did get their own food, there is no room to keep enough foood for 5 adults and a baby in the fridge or the pantry. We barely can make our food fit sometimes. And the increase in electricity and water would go over our budget. Plus not knowing how long it would be for. We have to finish cleaning and rearranging two rooms, plus get my aunt and uncle to bring the crib and we have to move a dresser from our room to Anyas. Once the crib and dresser are in there, it won't be much room for anything else and we will need to get everything set up for when she is born, so they won't be able to stay in that room then. I just feel so bad having to say no, but what are we to do?

Gramma

I need somewhere to talk about this. My Gramma fell and broke her hip a little over a month ago. She was in the hospital recovering and then her afib started acting up again. They decided to put a pacemaker in. This was helping. She was also having problems with swallowing/choking again. She wasn't getting the nutients she needed to recover and gain strength. So the decided to put in a feeding tube. She was starting to do a little better, then the feeding tube got clogged. A week later (with almost no food during that time) they finally got a new tube put in. They also started it as a drip instead of being poured in at certain times. We though this would be good and she would start getting better. Well this week she started having breathing troubles. Her oxygyn levels were going down to the 60's which isn't good. They they went from the nose canulas to a mask. This helped a bit and thought she was doing better again. Yesterday she asked for a private conversation with a minister from church. She is ready to stop fighting and being in so much pain trying to breathe. She has requested not to be intubated for breathing, but any other means of recictation are fine. Yesterday she was put on a higher quality mask and with it her oxygyn levels were staying around 100, but due to her wishes with the minister everyone in the family who could came to see her. We are all preparing for the last day. Today, she was moved to a hospice unit. She is now down to the regular oxygyn mask and no other lifesupport as per her living will. She is not getting the feeding tube anymore. Only things she is getting is morphine for the pain and the oxygyn. It was very hard for me today. I told her I love her and said goodbye. I know she doesn't want to be in pain anymore, it is just hard to accept it. I will truely miss her and am sorry she won't get to hold Annastasia when she is born. My Gramma has always been my rock and the person I could always talk to. I have been very close to her my whole life and loosing her is something that is extremly hard for me. I know she will be in good hands in Heaven and will be with her parents and also with my Granny who was her best friend in high school.